and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 156.
February 12, 1919.
CHARIVARIA.
"Officers," says a recent A.C.I., "may use their public chargersfor general purposes." Army circles regard this as a body blow atthe taxi-sharks.
"I had a thrill the other night," writes a correspondent ofThe Daily Mail. "I encountered a badger on Hampstead Heath."We hesitate to think what he would have encountered if he had hadtwo or three thrills.
The United States Immigration Bill now before Congress providesthat "an alien resident may be joined by his grandfather if overfifty-five years of age." A proposal to extend the privilege togreat-grandfathers who have turned their sixtieth year appears tohave met with no success.
"It is highly probable," says the chief medical officer of theLocal Government Board, "that masks and goggles will be necessaryto ensure freedom from infection from influenza." People who refuseto adopt this simple preventative should be compelled by law tobreathe exclusively through their ears.
The sensational report that the new Director-General of Housinghas already found a house turns out to be unfounded. It is nosecret, however, that the Department is on the track ofseveral.
"There is a Members' cloak-room," says a contemporary in "Hintsto M.P.'s," "where an attendant will take your coat and hat." Sodifferent from those other political clubs where another memberusually takes them.
SHAKSPEARE on Glasgow: "For this relief much tanks.".
The salute, says a correspondent, is being reintroduced into theGerman Army. Kicking an officer on the parade-ground for other thanpolitical reasons is also forbidden.
The Consumers' Council urge, inter alia, "that the FoodMinistry ought to be retained so long as there is any need of foodcontrol." This view is regarded as entirely too narrow by officialsof the Ministry, who feel that the public is just beginning to lovethem for themselves alone.
A sale of ninety specially-selected mules is announced to takeplace at Tattersall's to-morrow. In the technical language of thelive-stock trade a "specially-selected" mule is one which has aclear reach of six feet at either end.
"The Government must say what it will do," states The DailyMail. Waiting for The Daily Mail to say it first mustnot be allowed to degenerate into a mere mechanical habit.
For impersonating a voter a carpenter of Gloucester has justbeen sentenced to a month's imprisonment. Where he succeeded inobtaining the disguise from is not known.
WHEN TAKING A NEW HOUSE ALWAYS EMPLOY A PROFESSIONAL DRAUGHTDETECTOR.
A LOVE TRAGEDY.
He was a smart new clinical thermometer. She was a pretty nursein an influenza ward. His figurings were clear and his quicksilverglittered. Her eyes were blue and a little curl peeped from underher cap. He fell madly in love with her;