AM I STILL THERE?

Which must in essence, of course,
simply be the question "What do I
mean by 'I'?"

by JAMES R. HALL

ILLUSTRATED BY LEO SUMMERS

Lee slid off the examining table and began buttoning his shirt. He hadhad a medical examination every six months of his adult life, and italways seemed strange to him that, despite the banks of machines thedoctor had which could practically map a man from a single celloutward, each examination always entailed the cold end of astethoscope against his chest.

He tucked his shirt into his pants and turned to the examining doctorwho was writing on a chart.

"Well?" Lee asked him.

"Sound as a dollar," replied the doctor. "Of course Dr. Flotman or Dr.Roberts might turn up something on their electronic monsters, but Isee no reason why we can't go ahead on schedule."

Lee felt relieved. Even while being examined by technicians, M.D.'sand biologists, he had been conscious of the hundreds of little dullpains which had nibbled like mice in every corner of his brain.Sometimes he felt like a piece of his brain was being completelysmothered, a horrible sensation of having a part of his head severedfrom him. This would go away, but would appear again in a differentarea, usually in about fifteen to thirty minutes. Well, the doctorsaid he was fit for surgery. That would end this nagging pain, just asit always had in the past.

"... If you're ready now." Lee became aware the doctor was speaking tohim.

"Oh," Lee said. He had no idea what the doctor was talking about. "I'msorry, I guess I didn't hear what you said—"

The doctor smiled tolerantly. "I said you can see Dr. Letzmiller thisafternoon to get the final O.K."

"Letzmiller? Who's he? I thought you said I was ready to go." Lee knewhe sounded a little petulant, but he was tired from all theseexaminations, and besides, his head hurt.

The doctor, Gorss, Lee thought his name was, was rather young butseemed used to this kind of thing. He turned on his tolerant smileagain. "Dr. Letzmiller is chief of the Familiarization andPost-Operative Adjustment Section. He can explain himself better whenyou see him."

"Is he the last one?" Lee asked. He was already following Dr. Gorssout the door and down a corridor.

Dr. Gorss stopped before a door marked "Dr. C. L. Letzmiller," andopened it. "The last one. You take these," he handed Lee a thickmanila folder, "and tell the girl Dr. Gorss sent you for yourinterview." He waited until Lee had entered, then closed the door andleft.

Evidently Dr. Letzmiller had been expecting him, for very shortly Leefound himself sitting at the doctor's desk, comfortably seated in abrown leather armchair. He was facing a rather pudgy man, who wasleafing through the manila folder Lee had given him. Finally Dr.Letzmiller looked up.

"Well. Well now, Mr. Lee, suppose you first tell me about yourself,and then I'll tell you about me."

"Tell you about me?" Lee asked.

Dr. Letzmiller smiled. It was another tolerant smile, but it seemedmore sincere than Gorss'. "I suppose the best way would be for me toreview these facts on your medical history. You are Vincent BonardLee?"

"Yes, sir."

"Date of birth?"