Transcriber's note:
This etext was produced from Amazing Stories, January, 1951. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the copyright on this publication was renewed.
OPERATION R.S.V.P
By
H. Beam Piper
Vladmir N. Dzhoubinsky, ForeignMinister, Union of East European SovietRepublics, to Wu Fung Tung,Foreign Minister, United Peoples' Republicsof East Asia:
15 Jan. 1984
Honored Sir:
Pursuant to our well known policyof exchanging military and scientificinformation with the Government, offriendly Powers, my Governmenttakes great pleasure in announcingthe completely successful final testsof our new nuclear-rocket guided missileMarxist Victory. The test launchingwas made from a position southof Lake Balkash; the target was locatedin the East Siberian Sea.
In order to assist you in appreciatingthe range of the new guided missileMarxist Victory, let me point outthat the distance from launching-siteto target is somewhat over 50 percentgreater than the distance from launching-siteto your capital, Nanking.
My Government is still hopefulthat your Government will revise itspresent intransigeant position on theKhakum River dispute.
I have the honor, etc., etc., etc.,
V. N. Dzhoubinsky
Wu Fung Tung, to Vladmir N.Dzhoubinsky:
7 Feb., 1984
Estimable Sir:
My Government was most delightedto learn of the splendid triumph ofyour Government in developing thenew guided missile Marxist Victory,and at the same time deeply relieved.We had, of course, detected the releaseof nuclear energy incident tothe test, and inasmuch as it had obviouslyoriginated in the disintegrationof a quantity of Uranium 235, wehad feared that an explosion had occurredat your Government's secreturanium plant at Khatanga. We havelong known of the lax security measuresin effect at this plant, and have,as a consequence, been expecting somedisaster there.
I am therefore sure that your Governmentwill be equally gratified tolearn of the perfection, by my Government,of our own new guided missileCelestial Destroyer, which embodies,in greatly improved form,many of the features of your ownGovernment's guided missile MarxistVictory. Naturally, your own scientificwarfare specialists have detectedthe release of energy incident to theexplosion of our own improved thorium-hafniuminteraction bomb; thisbomb was exploded over the NorthPolar ice cap, about two hundredmiles south of the Pole, on about 35degrees East Longitude, almost duenorth of your capital city of Moscow.The launching was made from a sitein Thibet.
Naturally, my Government cannotdeviate from our present just andreasonable attitude in the KhakumRiver question. Trusting that yourGovernment will realize this, I havethe honor to be,
Your obedient and respectful servant,
Wu Fung Tung<