PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. 150
JUNE 28, 1916.
CHARIVARIA.
Two sailors charged with stealinga barrel of beer from a public-houseat Dover explained that it was onlya joke. The prosecution howeverpointed out that when the defendantswere arrested a large part of the jokewas found to be on them.
An applicant to the London AppealTribunal asked for exemption on theground that he was engaged in thebusiness, previously monopolized byGermans, of filling Santa Claus stockings.The Tribunal however concludedthat for the present he would be betteremployed in the business, also largelya German monopoly before the War,of filling a tunic.
Herr Bethmann-Hollweg has explainedto members of the GermanFlottenvereins that after the War Germanywill require a strong Fleet to"guard the transatlantic lanes of commerce."This of course explains whythey have refrained up to the presentfrom annihilating the British Fleet.They expect to use it in their comingwar with Portugal.
"The pair of swans on the lake atHampton Court," says a news item,"have hatched out seven young cygnets."Ordinary swans of course onlyhatch out goslings or ducklets.
A defendant who was fined £1 atWoking for shooting a wild-duckpleaded that he was an enthusiasticornithologist and wanted the bird forcomparison with other specimens. Weourselves in former times were in thehabit of mounting our wild ducks insets, but since the outbreak of the Warthe exorbitant prices charged by thelocal taxidermist have deprived us ofthe pleasures of comparative ornithology.
A Bill introduced into the House ofCommons last week enables the Crownto continue for a limited time after theWar (three years, with a possible extensionto another four) in possessionof land occupied during the War fordefence purposes. We understand thatin the framing of this measure thefeelings of Tino were not consulted.
The Berlingske Tidende declares thatthe British authorities are collectingvast quantities of coffee in Swedenwhich will be sent to Germany afterthe War. It is also generally believed,on the strength of the reports of theParis Conference, that equally largequantities of beans are being assembledin France and elsewhere which willbe handed to Germany immediatelyafter the conclusion of the struggle.
A Willesden man, charged with beingdisorderly at a music-hall, pleaded thatthe performance was so jolly thathe had to dance. That sort of thingis all right in places like Willesden, butwe trust that our West End managerswill continue to eliminate from theirprogrammes anything likely to be provocativeof similar behaviour.
The report that Mexico has sent anultimatum to the United States isprobably exaggerated. The Mexicanauthorities are said to be of the opinionthat a policy of firmness combined withmoderation will bring their unrulyneighbour to reason.
A turtle weighing a ton has beencaught off the Scilly Isles. The animal,which made no attempt to resist capture,stated that it was tired of beingmistaken for a submarine.
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