Copyright (C) 2007 by Lidija Rangelovska.
The Developmental Psychology of Psychopathology
1st EDITION
Sam Vaknin, Ph.D.
Editing and Design:
Lidija Rangelovska
Lidija Rangelovska
A Narcissus Publications Imprint, Skopje 2003
Not for Sale! Non-commercial edition.
(c) 2002 Copyright Lidija Rangelovska.
All rights reserved. This book, or any part thereof, may not be used orreproduced in any manner without written permission from:
Lidija Rangelovska - write to:
palma@unet.com.mk or to
vaknin@link.com.mk
Visit the Author Archive of Dr. Sam Vaknin in "Central Europe Review":
http://www.ce-review.org/authorarchives/vaknin_archive/vaknin_main.html
Visit Sam Vaknin's United Press International (UPI) Article Archive
Philosophical Musings and Essays
http://samvak.tripod.com/culture.html
Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited
http://samvak.tripod.com/
Created by: LIDIJA RANGELOVSKA
I. The Narcissistic Parent
II. The Narcissist's Mother
III. Born Alien
IV. Parenting - The Irrational Vocation
V. The Development of Narcissists and Schizoids
VI. Serial Killers
VII. Sex, or Gender
VIII. The Author
IX. About "After the Rain"
The Narcissistic Parent
By: Dr. Sam Vaknin
Question:
Is there a "typical" relationship between the narcissist and his family?
Answer:
We are all members of a few families in our lifetime: the one that weare born to and the one(s) that we create. We all transfer hurts,attitudes, fears, hopes and desires - a whole emotional baggage - fromthe former to the latter. The narcissist is no exception.
The narcissist has a dichotomous view of humanity: humans are eitherSources of Narcissistic Supply (and, then, idealised and over-valued)or do not fulfil this function (and, therefore, are valueless,devalued). The narcissist gets all the love that he needs from himself.From the outside he needs approval, affirmation, admiration, adoration,attention - in other words, externalised Ego boundary functions. Hedoes not require - nor does he seek - his parents' or his siblings'love, or to be loved by his children. He casts them as the audience inthe theatre of his inflated grandiosity.
He wishes to impress them, shock them, threaten them, infuse them withawe, inspire them, attract their attention, subjugate them, ormanipulate them. He emulates and simulates an entire range of emotionsand employs every means to achieve these effects. He lies (narcissistsare pathological liars - their very self is a false one). He plays thepitiful, or, its opposite, the resilient and reliable. He stuns andshines with outstanding intellectual, or physical (or anything elseappreciated by the members of the family) capacities and achievements.When confronted with (younger) siblings or with his own children, thenarcissist is likely to react in three phases:
At first, he perceives his offspring as a threat to his NarcissisticSupply Sources (his turf, the Pathological Narcissistic Space). H