Transcriber's Note:
This etext was produced from Amazing Stories October 1948. Extensiveresearch did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication wasrenewed.
The writer hated to create bug-eyedmonsters, but they hated him too!
DEATH OF A B. E. M.
By BERKELEY LIVINGSTON
The B. E. M. purred contentedlyas the giant stroked hiseyeballs
"Blast them!" the writergroaned in bitter accents."How I hate those B. E.M's.!"
"Hang them!" the artist yelled."How I hate those B. E. M's.!"
"Darn them!" the B. E. M. moaned."How I hate those humans!"
The artist and the writer satstaring at each other in wordlessmisery, their coffee untasted andtheir spirits at low ebb. Up above,in the beehive that was the publishinghouse which gave themtheir livelihood, the word had gonearound. B. E. M'S, B. E. M'S....
Sadly, in accents forlorn, thewriter said:
"Bug-eyed monsters! Ye gads!Bug-eyed monsters! Jack, old boy,do you realize we're setting science-fictionback a hundred years?"
"I know just how you feel, Harry,"the artist replied. "After all,we too had presumed that we hadbeen freed of these monsters. Soback we go to the drawing board,our minds tortured and twisted ..."He sighed disconsolately.
"Oh, well," the writer sighed andblew out his breath. He stared fixedlyat his coffee until a somethingblue slipped into focus. His glancetraveled upward from the hem ofthe girl's apron, past the lovelyswell of her charms and on past thesweet throat, to the gay, smilingface and sparkling eyes. Forgottenthen were B. E. M's. for both.Diane, the goddess of the restaurantcorps of enchanting waitresses,was at their side....
Hiah-Leugh was having his eyeballsmassaged. It was a delicateand tedious operation for the onedoing the massaging; not every Gomanwas possessed of eight eyeballs.But Hiah-Leugh was not an ordinaryGoman. Not he! He was chiefof all the Gomans, which meant hewas head of all the bug-eyed monsterson the whole of the planet ofXYZ268PDQ.
The four-headed slave, one of thegiants Hiah-Leugh's tribe had capturedon one of their forays into theterrible forest of Evil Contractions,scratched himself with one of hissix arms. He was quite bored withthis peaceful, though tedious pursuitthe tribe of Hiah-Leugh hadgiven to him as his duties. Especiallythe massaging of eyeballs. Ofcourse it helped to have six arms.Ooh! His four heads ranged themselvesin a single line.
The slave had committed a sin.
There were three cardinal sins onthe planet of XYZ268PDQ. Two ofthem were unmentionable and thethird was forgetting to massage allof the eight eyeballs of Hiah-Leughat one and the same time. If it werenot for the massage the giants ofthe planet would all live in peace.But it took a man with six arms todo the job. In fact it was to the regretof Hiah-Leugh that the giantsdid not have eight arms.
Now one of the eyelids was closing.In a second or two it would beclosed completely and once a singleof the eight eyes c