Enver Pasha, in a proclamation tothe Turkish troops, says: "The armywill destroy all our enemies with theaid of Allah and the assistance of theProphet." It is rumoured that theKaiser is a little bit piqued about it.
We learn from a German paper that,since the brave Ottomans have discoveredthat their Culture and that ofthe Germans are one, many Englishmenwho live in Crescents are cryingout in fury for an alteration of theiraddresses.
According to a Berlin journal, about2,000 players of orchestral instrumentshave been thrown out ofemployment by the war.It is suggested that, witha view to providing themwith more employment,reverses as well as victoriesshould be musicallycelebrated in thecapital.
We are glad to see thatthe names of battles inBelgium show a tendencyto become more cheery.The other day, for instance,we had the battleof the Yperlee—and wemay yet have a battle ofYip-i-yaddy-i-yay.
It is rumoured that acompromise has been arrivedat in regard to theproposal, emanating fromAmerica, that the warshall be stopped for twenty-four hourson Christmas Day. The combatants,it is said, have agreed to fire plum-puddingsinstead of cannon-balls.
Among the promotions which we donot remember seeing gazetted is that ofKarl Gustav Ernst, a German barber-spy.At the Old Bailey, the other day,Mr. Justice Coleridge promoted himto be a Steinhauer or stone-hacker.
"'MIRACLE' PRODUCER KILLED."—Daily Chronicle.
This is unfortunate for the Germans, forif ever they needed a miracle it is now.
"Information that has come into ourpossession," says The Grocer, "provesto our satisfaction that Germany hasbeen receiving plentiful supplies of teafrom our shores through neutral countriessince the outbreak of hostilities."The italics are ours: the satisfactionappears to be our contemporary's.
A cynic sends us a tip for the recruitingdepartment of our army. "Whygo for the single man?" he asks. "Wemay expect just as much courage fromthe married man. He has already provedhis pluck."
"HOW DE WET ESCAPED.
A MISSING LINK IN THE CORDON."—Observer.
The Germans, who have already beencalling the Allied forces "The Menagerie,"should appreciate this item.
Angry newspaper men are nowcalling a certain institution the SuppressBureau.
A solicitor having announced thathe is prepared to make the wills ofthe men of a certain regiment free ofcharge, another enterprising legal gentleman,not to be outdone, would likeit to be known that he is willing to actas residuary legatee without a fee.
In his interesting sketch, in TheTimes, of the Prince of Wales' careerat the University, the President ofMagdalen mentions that His RoyalHighness "shot at various countryhouses round Oxford." We hope thatthis will not be quoted against thePrince by a spiteful German Press,should any bullet marks be found oneday on the walls of some castle on theRhine....