Shure and begorra, it was a great day for the Earth! Thefirst envoy from another world was about to speak—thatis, if he could forget that horse for a minute....
off course
By Mack Reynolds
Illustrated by Kelly Freas
First on the scene were LarryDermott and Tim Casey of theState Highway Patrol. They assumedthey were witnessing thecrash of a new type of Air Forceplane and slipped and skidded desperatelyacross the field to withinthirty feet of the strange craft, onlyto discover that the landing hadbeen made without accident.
Patrolman Dermott shook hishead. "They're gettin' queerer lookingevery year. Get a load of it—nowheels, no propeller, no cockpit."
They left the car and made theirway toward the strange egg-shapedvessel.
Tim Casey loosened his .38 in itsholster and said, "Sure, and I'mbeginning to wonder if it's one ofours. No insignia and—"
A circular door slid open at thatpoint and Dameri Tass stepped out,yawning. He spotted them, smiledand said, "Glork."
They gaped at him.
"Glork is right," Dermott swallowed.
Tim Casey closed his mouth withan effort. "Do you mind the colorof his face?" he blurted.
"How could I help it?"
Dameri Tass rubbed a blue-nailedpink hand down his purplish countenanceand yawned again. "Gorramanigan horp soratium," he said.
Patrolman Dermott and PatrolmanCasey shot stares at each other."'Tis double talk he's after givin'us," Casey said.
Dameri Tass frowned. "Harama?"he asked.
Larry Dermott pushed his cap tothe back of his head. "That doesn'tsound like any language I've evenheard about."
Dameri Tass grimaced, turnedand reentered his spacecraft toemerge in half a minute with hishands full of contraption. He helda box-like arrangement under hisleft arm; in his right hand were twometal caps connected to the boxby wires.
While the patrolmen watchedhim, he set the box on the ground,twirled two dials and put one of thecaps on his head. He offered theother to Larry Dermott; his desirewas obvious.
Trained to grasp a situation andimmediately respond in manner bestsuited to protect the welfare of thepeople of New York State, Dermottcleared his throat and said, "Tim,take over while I report."
"Hey!" Casey protested, but hisfellow minion had left.
"Mandaia," Dameri Tass toldCasey, holding out the metal cap.
"Faith, an' do I look balmy?"Casey told him. "I wouldn't beputtin' that dingus on my head forall the colleens in Ireland."
"Mandaia," the stranger saidimpatiently.
"Bejasus," Casey snorted, "yecan't—"
Dermott called from the car,"Tim, the captain says to humorthis guy. We're to keep him hereuntil the officials arrive."
Tim Casey closed his eyes andgroaned. "Humor him, he's aftersayin'. Orders it is." He shoutedback, "Sure, an' did ye tell 'em he'sin technicolor? Begorra, he lookslike a man from Mars."
"That's what they think," Larryyelled, "and the governor is on hisway. We're to do everything possibleshort of violence to keep thischaracter here. Humor him, Tim!"
"Mandaia," Dameri Tasssnapped, pushing the cap intoCasey's reluctant hands.
Muttering his protests, Caseylifted it gingerly and placed it onhis head. Not feeling any immediateeffect, he said, "There, 'tis satisfiedye are now, I'm supposin'."
The alien stooped down andflicked a switch on the little box.It hummed gently. Tim Casey sud