PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
VOLUME 105, August 12th 1893
edited by Sir Francis Burnand
THE CLOSURE AT HOME.
Paterfamilias entered thedrawing-room at ten minutesto six o'clock, and found thefamily still undecided. Therewas a pause in the conversationwhen he made his appearance.
"Where are we to go?" heasked, taking out his watch."You have been quarrellingfor the last week, and I havegiven you till this hour. Soget through your amendmentsas fast as you can."
"I prefer Paris," saidMaterfamilias, "and I amsupported by all the girls.We are decidedly in a majority."
"Paris is simply awful atthe end of July!" cried theeldest son. "Give you myword, mother, the place isimpossible."
"Venice would certainly bebetter," said his youngerbrother. "Charming place,and you get a very decenttable d'hôte at Danieli's."
"Oh, Venice is too dreadfuljust now!" exclaimed AuntMatilda. "If we are to gowith you, we certainly can'ttravel there. Besides, there'sthe cholera all over the Continent.Now Oban would benice."
"Are you speaking seriously?"asked Cousin Jane."Scotland never agrees withme, but Cairo would beperfect."
"Do you think so, my deargirl?" put in Uncle John."I fancy you are making amistake. Egypt is very wellin the winter, but it is fearfullyhot in August. Nowthey tell me Killarney issimply delightful at thisseason."
"Ireland! No, thank you!"exclaimed Reginald. "Wehave had enough of HomeRule on this side of theChannel to go across to find iton the other. No; give meSpain, or even Russia."
The hands of the clock wereclose upon the hour, but stillthere was a minute or so tospare.
"Russia indeed!" snappedout Priscilla. "Who everwould go to Russia? Butpeople do tell me that Chicagois well worth seeing, and——"
At this moment the clockstruck six.
"Time's up," cried Paterfamilias."We will all go toHerne Bay."
And they did.
THE TEST OF TRUE GENIUS.
Pictor Ignotus Number One. "Yes; I rather flatter myself thereare precious few of my Contemporaries who care about my Work!"
Pictor Ignotus Number Two (not to be beaten). "By Jove! Iratherflatter myself I've got the Pull of you there, Old Man! Why,There's Nobody cares about Mine!"
The New Atomic Theory.
(According to the New Journalism).
Mankind are debtors to two mighty creditors,
Omniscient Science, and infallible Editors.
Nature is summed in principles and particles;
The moral world in Laws and Leading Articles!
CRICKET ACROSS THE CHANNEL.
We believe that our lively neighbours, the French, having seenthat there is a chance of some alteration being made in the rules ofcricket in England, have determined to suggest some changes ontheir own account. We give the first list of proposals:—