Punch, or the London Charivari
Volume 105, December 23, 1893.
edited by Sir Francis Burnand
THE ADVENTURES OF PICKLOCK HOLES.
(By Cunnin Toil.)
No. VII.—THE STOLEN MARCH.
I think I have already mentioned in the course of the articleswhich I have consecrated to the life and exploits of PicklockHoles that this extraordinary man was unmarried. There wassome mystery about certain love-making episodes in the earlystages of his career which nothing could induce him to talk about.If I ever chanced to mention the subject of matrimony in his presence,a hard, metallic look came over hisfeatures, and his lips closed withthe tightness and vehemence of apair of handcuffs. Naturally, I wasnot encouraged by these symptomsto pursue the matter. However,from what I have since been ableto glean from other sources, I thinkI am justified in saying that Holeswas at one time, while quite a youngman, engaged to the daughter ofan eminent church dignitary, acharming girl who united good looksto a comfortable balance at herbankers. One morning, however,Holes, whose mind was constantlyoccupied in the solution of deep andcomplex psychological problems, suddenlystartled Miss Bellasys by informing her that from certainindications he had concluded that she had two large moles on theupper portion of her left shoulder-blade. It was in vain that theunfortunate girl protested with tears in her eyes that she wasignorant of this disfigurement; that, as a matter of fact, she had thebest reason for believing that no such moles existed, and that, if theydid, it was not her fault, but must be due to a momentary oversighton the part of her nurse, a woman of excellent character and soundchurch principles. Holes was, as usual, inexorable.
"My dearest Annabella," he observed, "I am never mistaken.Within the last ten minutes while I have been discussing with youmy new theory of clues I have noticed your left eye—the right Icannot see—slowly close twice, while at the same moment your headdrooped on to your left shoulder. Thus you were twice blind onthe left side. Moles, as we learn, not merely from books on naturalhistory, but from our own observation, are blind. You have,therefore, two moles on your left shoulder. The fact is indisputable."
Terrified by this convincing demonstration, poor Miss Bellasysreleased the great detective from his engagement, and retiredshortly afterwards from the world to enrol herself in the ranks of anursing sisterhood.
These, I believe, are the facts connected with my friend's onlyengagement, and I merely state them here in order that the deeply-interestingstory of his life may be as complete as laborious andaccurate research on my part can make it. It is perhaps not to bewondered at that the man should have been to some extent souredby the tragic termination of a love affair which seemed full of thepromise of happiness for all concerned.
But it must not be supposed that the life of Picklock Holeswas entirely destitute of the domestic joys. He would often tellme when we met again after an interval during which he haddisappeared from my ken that he had been giving the old folksat home a turn, and that he felt himself in a measure reinvigora