E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, David King,
and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
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PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 150.
March 15, 1916.
CHARIVARIA.
The Zeppelin which was "winged"while flying over Kent last week hasnot yet been found, and is believed tobe still in hiding in the densely woodedcountry between Maidstone and Ashford.Confirmation of this report issupplied by a local farmer, who statesthat on three successive nights thecat's supper has been stolen from hisscullery steps. This strange circumstance,considered in the light of theGermans' inordinate passion for cats'meat, has gone far to satisfy the authoritiesthat the capture of the crippledmonster is only a question of time.
Mr. William Aird, in a lecture upon"Health, Disease and Economical Living,"insisted that we should all bemuch healthier if we lived on "rabbitfood." Possibly; but the vital questionis—would not this diet induce in usa tendency to become conscientiousobjectors?
"It is most necessary," stated aManchester economics expert last week,"that the Government should releasemore beef for civilian needs." Yet acursory view of the work done by themilitary tribunals seems to indicatethat they are releasing altogether toomuch.
A Chertsey pig-breeder has beengranted total exemption. The pen, itseems, is still mightier than the sword.
Some slight irritation has beencaused by the announcement of SirAlfred Keogh that Naval men engagedon the home service cannot besupplied with false teeth at the expenseof the Government. Nevertheless wemay rest assured that, come what may,these gallant fellows will uphold thetraditions of the Navy and stick totheir gums.
For many days past the conditionof our streets has been really lamentableowing to the fact that so manyof our crossing-sweepers are servingwith the colours; and a painful reportis going about that the Government'sobject in recognizing the V. T. C. is atlast becoming apparent.
A prehistoric elephant has recentlybeen discovered at Chatham and isnow mounted in the British Museum.In palæontological circles the reportthat the monster's death was occasionedby the consumption of toomuch seed-cake is regarded as goingfar to prove that our neolithic ancestorswere not without their sentimental side.
Mistress. "Well, Jones, I hope we shall getmore out of the garden this year. We had next to nothing lastyear."
Jones. "Ay—'twere they plaguey pheasants 'ad most on itlast year."
Mistress. "If you ask me, I should say it wastwo-legged pheasants!"
From a Parliamentary report: "Inhis reply Mr. Asquith stated that the'Peace Book' which was being preparedto meet problems which wouldarise after the War corresponded withthe 'War Book' which was compiledyears ago in anticipation of the War."This ought to put heart into the enemy.
The Court of Appeal has decidedthat infants are liable to pay incometax. It is reported that Sir Joh BU KİTABI OKUMAK İÇİN ÜYE OLUN VEYA GİRİŞ YAPIN!
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