"The Bolshevists," says a gossipwriter, "do not always rob Peter topay Paul." No, they sometimes justrob Peter.
A Yarmouth report anticipates ashortage of herrings. It is said thatthe Prime Minister has a couple ofsecond-hand red ones for disposal whichhave only been drawn across the pathonce or twice.
"One of the Kaiser's mugs," says anews item, "has just been soldin New York for forty pounds."We have suspected for sometime that he was a double-facedfellow.
"There should be no temptationsto crime in so beautifula spot," said Mr. Justice Coleridgewhen presented withwhite gloves at the Angleseyassizes. The sentiment isthought to be as old as Adam.
"If it is necessary tostrengthen the hands of themilitary in Ireland," said Mr.Lloyd George, "the Governmentwill certainly do so."Our own view is that theyshould be protected even if itmeans sending the Reserve ofSpecial Constables to do it.
According to the Ministry ofTransport, there is only onemotor-car to every one hundredand twenty people in GreatBritain. The necessity of fixinga maximum bag of pedestriansper car does not thereforearise.
A purple-eyed fish, elevenfeet long, with a horn on itsnose and no teeth, has beencaught at San Diego, California. Thatis the sort of thing that makes Prohibitiona secondary issue.
As the result of some remarks letdrop by the crew and repeated by theship's parrot, several hundred bottlesof liquor were found on board theS.S. Curaçao by the San Francisco portauthorities. It is now suggested, inthe interests of philology, that theparrot should be put back to hear howthe crew takes it.
A young man while fishing on theWye landed a wallet containing twenty-twoone-pound Treasury notes. A correspondentwriting from North of theTweed inquires what bait the fellowwas using.
The Postmaster-General points outthat five hundred new telephones areto be erected in rural districts. Localresidents should at least be grateful forthis little friendly warning.
It is reported that M. Krassin toldthe Premier all about Russia. Mr.Lloyd George was very interested, ashe had often heard of the place.
With the letter postage at twopence,we read, it is in many cases just ascheap to telephone. And in some casesjust as quick.
"Will Wilde meet Beckett?" asks aheadline. We can only say that we donot intend to stand in their way.
General von Kluck has been tellingsomebody that he lost the battle of theMarne by a fluke. As we can't havethe War over again we must let thematter remain at that.
According to an evening paper atemperance speaker fainted during aprocession in a Kentish town, and wasimmediately carried into a shop andbrought round by whisky. The reportthat on being informed of this fact heagain went off into a faint is happilywithout foundation.
A man aged seventy-six was chargedlast week with threatening to shoot aWest-End family of six. It is said thathis parents intend to plead the banefulinfluence of the cinema.