PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Vol. 108.

June 8, 1895.

[pg 265]

ROBERT ON THE TEMS.

Me and sum of the Gents of the Lundon County Counsel, as theycalls theirselves, has had sum considerable differences of opinionlately, but I don't suppose as it will cum to much. It seems as sumon em has got theirselves elected into the Tems Conserwancy Gents,and nothink as is dun quite sattisfysem unless they has the bestplaces on bord the crack steamersas takes em either up the Riveror Down the River, as the casemay be. In course they allwants the werry best heatablesand drinkables, and plenty onem; but if the water appens tobe jest a little ruff, the one thingas they all scrambles for is plentyto heat and plenty to drink, anda nice quiet seat in the Saloon all the way home.

I herd tell the other day as how as some of the Tems ConserwancyGents had a reglar quarrel with sum of the County Counsel Gents,all becoz of the diffrence that sum on em wants to make in the wayin which things is conducted on bord when agoing on their wayhome. It most suttenly must make a great diffrence weather it is anice, brillyant, sunny day, and all happy on bord, or weather it is adull, dark, rainy day, and not room enuff for harf the cumpany.

I don't find as how as the too partys in the Corporation agrees withone another more than they used to when they used to quarrel somuch about everythink. In fack they seems jist as much opposed toeach other as ever, and I, for my part, most truly hopes as how as theywill continue in the same noble spirit, and then they will hate eachother with the same cordial hatred as so distinguished them in daysgone by.

I don't know a greater treat myself than spending a nour or toowith the County Counsellers at Charing Cross. They can lay thestingers about in splendid style, and both sides of the question, muchalike in force, and werry much alike in quolity. But the werry finistsight of all I shoud think wood be to see a thorowly good set tobetween a picked set of the Tems Conserwancy and another of theCounty Counsellers. From what I hears of the former I shoud thinktheir chance would be grand indeed, and from what I have herd oftheir reckless perseverance I should think their loss almost incredible.The Tems is the river for me, and long may it remain so!

Robert.

ROUNDABOUT READINGS.

Terrible things have been happening in Newcastle. If any onedoubts this statement, let him read the following extract from one ofthe local papers. "Though it is a good while," observes a leader-writer,"since it could be said with justice that the trade of the countrywas advancing by leaps and bounds, the observation may with absoluteaccuracy be made with respect to our Newcastle rates. Theyhave stolen along with woollen feet, and are now about to strikewith iron hands."

I bow to the ground in awe-struck admiration before this pictureof rates stealing along on woollen feet and raising iron hands for adeadly blow at the unfortunate ratepayers of Newcastle. There issomething fell and savage in the mere contemplation of it. Prose isquite inadequate to it; it demands rhyme, and must have it:—